SEX POSITIONS ADVICE

Man on top questions and answers sent in by readers

Question: I have a girlfriend for the first time, and of course we are exploring sex. But I'm having trouble with getting the positions right. The first time, we started out with her giving me head, which was fantastic, and I gave her head too, which made her orgasm. This was all great, but when it came to intercourse, I just couldn't seem to get the sex right. We tried the missionary position, but it was difficult for me to find the right thrusting motion. I thought it would be a thrusting in and out like the guys in the porno films I've seen, but it all felt more like a sliding motion, with me moving my whole body on top of her. I have an average sized penis, so I don't think that's where the problem lies. Is this a technique problem? Can you guys tell me how to get in the correct position for sex?

Answer: In those films the guys pump away completely detached from the woman - they are not making love, they are fucking a vagina. This isn't like real life. Plus, you may have a smaller penis than they do, and you want an emotional connection with your girlfriend during sex. To discover how to enjoy sex, you should experiment with all the positions you can think of, so you'll find which works best for you both. See, for example, a pictorial guide to sex: www.great-sexual-techniques.com - this has all the sex positions you could ever wish for!

The thing about the missionary position is that you don't lie on top of her because that isn't an ideal position for sex! You need to support your weight on your hands or elbows, a bit like you are doing a push up. Then you have freedom of movement around your pelvis, and you can move your hips in such a way that your penis slides in and out of her vagina. You can move around as you try this so that you find the ideal position for intercourse. Also try sitting back during sex, and maybe getting hold of your penis and pushing it into her. Sometimes you need to see what you're doing and where you're going during sex - getting into the right position alone is not enough, you need stylish technique as well! Plus if you are lying on top of her, trying blindly to find her vagina with the end of your penis while you kiss her, you're not in an ideal position - especially if you can't get your cock in! Just have a look down and see what you are doing....

Response: Funnily enough, I thought there was a problem with my technique - and there was. When I measured my penis it turned out to be about five inches, and what I was doing was not moving back far enough because I thought it would fall out of her. Finally she told me how to thrust (she's got more experience than me). We also stopped using a condom, so now I can feel where my penis is in her vagina a lot better, and far from worrying about sex, we just enjoy it! Three months on and sex is great. We've tried all the positions on www.great-sexual-techniques.com and we've decided on our favorites, we've become much more athletic and healthy, and we are very much in love. Practice makes perfect!

Question: How can we make the missionary position better so that my wife actually comes during sex?

Answer: If you don't know what the Coital Alignment technique is, then I strongly recommend you try it. It is one of the best positions, and can really help the partners come together. The man gets into position as if for the missionary. But he keeps his legs outside hers while he inserts his penis into her. He then shifts his whole body upwards so that his elbows are near her head. The net result of this position is to rub the clitoris on the base of the penis, so that she is stimulated as he thrusts. Sex in this position will almost certainly make her have an orgasm.

It may be better to change positions slightly so that the guy is moving his penis in a stirring or churning motion rather than simple thrusts. Many couples say they love this position the most, and it works even better after cunnilingus because then she's already aroused and will reach orgasm quicker.

More information on Coital Alignment Technique can be found here: Man on top

Even better sex can be achieved with the woman on top because it allows her to find the exact subtlety of angle that gets her clitoris stimulated. If she can find a position that get her clitoris in contact with the base or shaft of your penis or your pubic mound during sex, she will go into orbit while she moves on you. And of course, these positions have the advantage that they are quite relaxing for you during sex! Many women find woman on top sex incredibly stimulating, so much so that they reach orgasm much more easily. If you get the position just right, your glans will hit her G spot and she will come while you are in side her. Believe me, this is an amazing sensation!

Woman on top questions and answers sent in by readers

Question: How is it best to do the woman on top sex positions? We have only tried them a few times and would appreciate any guidance!

Answer 1: Like everything in sex, the best thing is what is best for you and most comfortable. But there are some general rules which will help to make a particular position or group of sex positions interesting. So, don't bounce up and down on his penis like a jack hammer - this will only make him come quickly, and give him little pleasure. You can screw a man to the edge of unbearable ecstasy in the woman on top positions if you move your hips slowly in a circular grinding way. Slow and luxurious - that's the way to do it.

Answer 2: In these positions, sex for my boyfriend is best if I don't rotate my hips... he prefers it if I go up and down. So it is a case of horses for courses.

Answer 3: We found a great way to enjoy these positions right from the start - that was for me to move my wife by placing my hands on her hips and then shifting her (gently, more like a process of encouraging her to shift into different positions) into the positions that felt best for me. She quickly learnt which positions felt best for me, and now she can take me to fantastic orgasms.

Answer 4: Like everything else to do with sex positions, just do what feels good. When we first tried woman on top, we quickly found it was important to adjust the positions to suit the angle of my cock - which is very hard and upright - it lies flat along my belly when erect. So my girl has to lean forward so that out chests are quite close, otherwise it is very uncomfortable for me as my penis is bent downwards. But she can still ride me to an amazing orgasm, and I just love the way these sex positions allow us to spin sex out so that she controls how long sex lasts, and gets her pleasure - while driving me crazy!

Answer 5: We've found that the best way to do sex in the woman on top positions is to have him half lying and half sitting, then I climb on his lap and do all the rocking back and forwards and the going faster or slower. In these positions, his penis gets deeper into me, and feels amazing! What's more, if he sits upright, his pubic bone can very nicely stimulate my clitoris. This leads to great sex!

Answer 6: These are great positions for sex - woman on top of the man, who's lying down, with the woman facing forwards or backwards - but the knees can hurt a bit! I find that the easiest way to overcome that is to rise up from time to time during sex and move up and down his penis rather than just grind my hips. And he loves the variation, too!

Answer 7: My take on these positions is to have her sit on my cock, facing me with her hands on my chest. She rocks her pelvis into mine. She circles her hips around on my penis. She can then put herself into the best positions for clitoral and G spot stimulation. It also leaves my hands free to play. I like to massage her breasts with both hands or hold her hips top move her in certain ways or even just to push her down into me. I would say she has an orgasm about 90% of the time during sex in this position.

Answer 8: Woman on top and reverse cowgirl (woman on top facing away) are our favorite sex positions. He likes me to face away from him, but I prefer to face him. I keep my knees on the outside of his and grind slowly. Men may not like it as much as if they are in control but the sense of woman being dominant is part of the fun! Remember the man shouldn't thrust but he can guide the woman and hold her by the hips. Not thrusting means he lasts longer and the woman orgasms easier and better. Even better, both partners have both hands free in these sex positions. You can play with your clit while the other squeezes his nipples or balls. If you want you can put a vibrator between you and him - that will make the orgasm even better for both of you!

Rear entry questions and answers sent in by readers

Question: I am much taller than my girl, and although we have been trying sex for two months in a variety of positions, we just cannot seem to get it right. What positions should we use? What positions will help two people who are so different in size enjoy sex more?

Answers: Well, first of all you will need to enjoy lots of foreplay. Sex isn't just a matter of positions, it's also about finding an emotional connection. So if you need some ideas, try looking on good informational sites like www.the-penis.com or www.the-penis.com or www.my-penis.org or www.myvag.net

Next, if she is dry, try using lots of lube on her vulva - this needs to be water based lube, and you can have her lie on her back while you massage her whole vulva. If you are going to give her oral sex in these positions, you need to make sure you do it before giving her the massage with your hands, because lube can taste unpleasant. Most women find kissing a very romantic and lovely thing, and if it is done tenderly, it can be very arousing. Once she is ready you need to find the positions that suit you best. Each couple will have their own favorite positions. These are determined by the shape, size and angle of the vagina and erect penis. But for a couple with height differences, the best solution may be woman on top. Pain during penetration may mean his penis is hitting the wall of her cervix - this can cause discomfort and maybe a bit of bleeding too.

The solution to that is more shallow penetration. In woman on top positions, the woman can control the depth and speed of penetration. Spooning or side-by-side positions allow for more shallow penetration because her ass stops you getting close enough to penetrate her deeply. Make sure that she is ready for penetration, whatever position you are using. If you can gently insert two or three fingers into her vagina, then she is relaxed and ready for sex. Other signs are that she will move her hips in a thrusting or rocking motion. Actually, once you get used to the signs, it is quite easy to tell when your girl wants you inside her. Generally when she wants you in there, she will be wet enough, but you can always add some lube if necessary.

Question: My wife just won't let me try doggy style sex. Why? We have sex in lots of other positions all the time, but this one she won't even consider.

Answers: Some women don't like sex in this position because it seems impersonal, animalistic, or lewd. Others may not like this position because they think their body is fat, their ass is too big, or their thighs are too flabby. Such worries, whether a man understands them or not, will stop a woman enjoying sex. Loads of reassurance may help if those are the reasons why a woman doesn't like doggy style.

Also, doggy style can be impersonal. If a woman has a more romantic nature and isn't really into raw, passionate sex, then doggy style may not suit her at all. These positions may make her feel like she is being treated as a sex object. And in this position a woman may also feel that she is not in control, that the sex is purely for the man's gratification. A belief that doggy style is demeaning to women can run rather deep, and it's likely to prevent a woman enjoying sex.

If the man has a large penis, doggy style positions can be painful because he penetrates deeply enough to hit her uterus or cervix. If this is the problem, shallow thrusting may help, though men do tend to get carried away during rear entry sex. These positions are very arousing for men, because he can see the woman's ass with his penis thrusting in and out between her butt cheeks. Try asking your partner what she thinks of the various sex positions, and why doggy style is such a problem for her. Communication is important in sex, so maybe you aren't talking enough. Lastly, what about trying sex in a side by side position with you lying behind her? You are almost doing it from behind, but there's more intimacy and closeness.

There are good things about doggy style sex for a woman. It allows deep penetration, which some women enjoy. His penis may stimulate her G spot, which is great for vaginal orgasm. He (or she) can reach her clitoris and play with it during sex. The position allows him to thrust and play with her clitoris at the same time. It's also a great position for using a vibrator because her clitoris is so accessible. For women who want to feel rude and dirty during sex, doggy style is great - she can really tantalize and titillate her man by waving her butt around and acting dirty - such sex play can be very arousing for both partners, and it is guaranteed to get the man going!